Finding Myself
by Ilvhstry
Summary: What would you do if you woke up and knew nothing about yourself? Like, literally nothing? Well, Kira knows. And it's not fun...
1. Lost and Confused

**Hey guys! So if you've read any of my other fanfictions you should know by now that I am not one that usually takes things seriously. This is me trying to write something on a more serious note than usual, but I can't help myself but lace some humor into the situations. **

**This fanfic takes place way after Brotherhood when everyone's reunited again. Ed and Al have come back from their journeys and are all settled and all that jazz.**

**I do not own FMA or FMAB or anything affiliated with it. I just like the plot a lot and want to add onto it…**

I awoke groggily, not knowing anything. By not knowing anything, I quite literally mean _anything_. Even the simplest of knowledge, my name, has seemed to evade me. Oh, how I long to know my own name. Perhaps if I knew that little bit I could make sense of something, anything. But I was drawing a blank.

Gate, I can't even remember what I look like. What color is my hair? Brown? Blonde? What about my eyes? Were they green, or were they blue? Perhaps brown? Or did they change colors? What's my race? I'm I Amestrian, or am I Ishvallan? If I was the latter, does that mean that my eyes were red and my skin was brown?

My head is spinning. I can't process this… the only thing I am able to gather about myself is that I am female. Perhaps I can tell my race from my skin color…

I breathe a sigh of relief as I look at my hand and realize that it's the pale color of an Amestrian. At least now I don't have to fear the military. I think. It also tells me that my eyes are more than likely not red.

I look around for a mirror so I can learn more about my physical appearance.

_How strange this feels, _I think silently. _Here I am in a strange place and I don't even know what I look like._

I failed to find a mirror but I found a door. That was better than nothing, I suppose. I walk over to the door, curious as to what could be on the other side. I open the door to find a spacious bathroom on the other side.

I became urgently aware that I had to relieve myself just then, thanks to my bladder. I shut the door behind me (something I had at least retained throughout all of this is basic manners) and pee in the toilet. I see that there is a mirror on the back of the door.

_So this is what I look like._ I appear to be around seventeen. I have black hair that's short on the sides and spiked at the top. It also has a streak of purple tracing through it near the top. I have eyes that are a piercing blue, the kind that one can't help but notice at first glance. I'm wearing a black shirt and jeans, nothing too extraordinary. However, I take note that I am unnaturally pale. Not the kind of pale that you get when you're sick with something serious, but the kind where you saw something that scared the crap out of you and you hope with all your heart that you never see it again as long as you live.

_I guess the best thing for me to do is find somebody to help me. _I finish my business quickly and walk out the door into the town. I half expected somebody to stop me on my way out, perhaps a family member to ask me where I was going. I was _hoping_ that would happen, actually. I needed somebody to talk to; maybe they would know what happened. I had no such luck, though, and I was seemingly on my own.

I wander through the streets half-heartedly, hoping somebody would recognize me and start a conversation. They could tell me my name, they could tell me my exact age, they could tell me so many things about myself that I didn't know. How strange it is to think that. Other people, even if they are simple acquaintances, know me better than I know myself at this point.

My stomach growled angrily at me. Oh, that's right. I forgot to eat something, didn't I? I dig in my pockets in a feeble attempt to find money, but I turn up with nothing. I sit down next to a building. Today has been so exhausting. I want nothing more than to lie down in a nice, warm bed, or maybe take a nice, long shower. I can't go back to where I was, though. I have no idea if that was even my house, so it was far too dangerous to venture back there and risk getting arrested on the grounds of trespassing.

I lean my head back against the hard brick wall of the building and close my eyes. I'm so tired. Maybe I can sleep, just a little…

**Sorry this chapter's so short, but I think that this would be the best place to stop it for now… Who knows when the next opportunity for that would happen?**

**So what do you guys think? Good? Bad? I want to know! I promise the next chapter will have some more interesting content.**

**Oh, and I'd like to thank likikoari for making me think of this idea!**


	2. Meeting the Elrics

**I do not own FMAB or any of its characters.**

I woke up suddenly aware of my surroundings. I was still against the wall, but now these two people were just watching me. They looked a lot like each other, too much to be a coincidence. They had to be related somehow. They both had blonde hair, but one's was darker. The one with the lighter hair had his long and pulled into a ponytail, while the other one had a simple short haircut. They had golden eyes, something that I had never seen before.

I met the eyes of the one with the longer hair and waited for him to say something explaining why the two of them were just looking at me. Instead of an explanation, the one I was looking at asked me, "Who are you?"

_I'm trying to figure that out for myself, Buddy. _What do I tell him? The truth? Or do I fabricate a lie? I decide on a half-truth quickly (why would I want to tell somebody about my situation if I wasn't even sure they would help me?) and started speaking.

"I'm Kira."

"Hi Kira." It was the other one talking now. "What are you doing out here?"

"What does it look like?"

The two appeared not to notice the acid that was loaded into my response. The one with lighter hair said, "If it'll make you feel better, we'll tell you who we are. I'm Ed, and this is my little brother Al." He gestured to the one beside him.

The one that had been indicated as Al finally said something. "Do you need any help or anything?"

Again I'm faced with a choice. Should I let these two brothers help me with my situation, or will I try my luck? Maybe I should let them help me. After all, when will another person come along that's willing to assist me?

Now, how do I start? Do I just tell them that I don't remember anything? Or do I come up with some lie? Let's start off with a small part of the truth, see how far these two are willing to go to help me.

"I guess so," I begin, letting my expression lose some of its defensiveness. "I don't have any place to stay…"

"You can stay with us," Al said helpfully.

"I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Don't worry about that. We'll be happy to help, right Ed?" Ed just nodded.

"But why would you guys want to help me? You don't even know me."

"Let's just say we have a certain person in mind that did the same thing for us a long time ago." Ed's eyes seemed to get a little darker when his brother said this. Was this a touchy subject for the two of them? If so, I would think it'd be better if I try to find out more information from Al. He seemed more likely to talk.

"Okay," I finally agreed. "Thanks, by the way."

"Don't even mention it," Ed said.

I got led off by the two brothers across town to a hotel.

_Oh, no… I hope this isn't what I think it is... I didn't agree to this!_ My thoughts were sent into images of rape that could potentially happen due to me being alone in a hotel room with the two boys. _Should I bail? Or would that be too obvious? If I left now would they try to find me and rape me somewhere else? If I go then I'll always be looking over my shoulder, but I don't want to get molested! _

"So… you guys are staying here?" I asked nonchalantly. They don't need to know that I was thinking about the harm they could easily inflict upon me.

Ed nodded his head. "Yeah."

Al seemed to notice something about my expression and said quickly, "We can get you your own room, if you'd like. We're going back home tomorrow, anyway."

"Yes please," I said, trying to not say it too fast. This one… he reads me too easily. The other one, though… he's oblivious. Completely and sadly oblivious.

We got ourselves checked in and headed to our separate rooms. It didn't surprise me that the brothers shared one, but it did surprise me when I heard a meow coming from the room that was immediately followed by Ed saying, "I said no more cats, Al! Do you want to become a male version of a cat lady?!"

_So Al likes cats. I'll have to keep that in mind… _

**Sorry about that bit with the rape… it's just while I was writing this and the guys were going to a hotel I started thinking, "Rape! Rape! Rapists everywhere!" because quite honestly, if I was in Kira's situation I would be very worried about that. **


	3. Learning New Things

I woke up the next morning bright and early. According to the clock that was sitting on the bedside table, it was six in the morning.

_So… I survived the night without getting raped or murdered. Success._

I got up and went into the bathroom to take care of my business. I looked in the mirror and saw my hideous bed-head. I combed through my hair with my fingers trying to get it orderly without much success. I shrugged. I already looked weird, I guess.

_I wonder what happened to those boys that helped me._ I went out of my room to theirs and knocked on the door carefully. Al was the one who opened the door.

"Oh, hi Kira!" he greeted warmly. Yep, he was still my favorite.

"Your brother's not up?" I asked curiously. Wouldn't it make sense for the two of them to be up together?

"No, he likes sleeping a lot."

"I guess that's understandable."

Suddenly, my stomach growled loudly.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Al asked me.

"Oh, no. I don't have any money and-"

"I'll pay for you."

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"I don't mind. Just let me write Brother a note." Al scribbled a few words on a piece of stationary paper that he found in the room and laid it on the desk. Then he grabbed his jacket and said, "Let's go."

We ate at a café. _While we ate I had an internal debate with myself._

_Should I tell him about my needing help now?_

_No! It's too soon! You don't even know if he would help you or if he would just take advantage of that!_

_But he seems like a nice guy, I'm sure he would help._

_No! Everybody can seem like a nice guy, but usually those are the rapists and murderers!_

_Fine… then should I ask about _his_ past?_

_If you must…_

I realized how unhealthy it was for me to argue with myself like that.

"So, Al," I began trying to ease into the subject. "That man that you talked about earlier, the one that helped you and your brother… want to explain a little?"

Al looked a little uncomfortable as he answered, "The guy's name was Maes Hughes. He was a really nice man, but sometimes bad things happen to good men." I nodded encouragement to continue with his story.

"He was murdered," Al said after some time. "We found the killer, but that couldn't' bring him back."

I gave Al a minute to his thoughts then asked, "You said that he helped you."

A small light returned to Al's eyes as he told me about how Hughes had helped him.

"My brother and I had just come to Central and we had no place to stay. We were just going to stay in a hotel room, but Hughes came in to Mustang's office and all but dragged us to his house." Al chuckled to himself at the memory. "He didn't wait for us to agree."

A name stuck out to me that I could almost remember, but not quite. _Mustang. _I knew, of course, that he wasn't talking about the horse, but I couldn't place the name. I wondered briefly about if things were going to be like this for the rest of my life, but right now I needed to find out information from Al.

"So, what was he like at his house?" I asked.

"He was still nice. He introduced us to his wife Gracia and his daughter Elicia. He loved them both so much. He was a really good man." Al thought for a moment, then said, "If you want, some time we can introduce you to Gracia and Elicia. They're both really nice, too."

"That sounds like a good idea. I'd like to meet them." I paused for a moment then said, "You said something earlier about a man named Mustang. Who is he?"

"Colonel Mustang was Brother's boss before Ed quit the military. He's the Flame Alchemist. We didn't realize it at the time, but Mustang was always looking out for us. Good thing, too, because we were just a couple of kids who thought that we couldn't be defeated." Al chuckled. "That's how all teenagers think, I guess."

"Wait, you said you were a couple of kids. How old were you two?"

"Brother was twelve when he got into the military."

"The military lets _children_ join?"

"Not normally, no, but Brother had a special talent. He could perform alchemy without a transmutation circle. He was the only one for a long time, but eventually I was able to do it, too. I was never part of the military, though. Brother wouldn't let me."

"Why not?"

"We were looking for something, and in order to find it we needed to have access to resources that only the military had, so he joined. He wouldn't let me, though, because we only needed one and he didn't want us to get separated."

I was about to ask what they were looking for, but realized that if he didn't offer it up willingly then I shouldn't ask about it.

"Let me ask about you, then," Al said. "I know your name, but that's all I know. Why were you out on the streets yesterday?"

I thought carefully before answering. I decided to just tell him the truth because he's trusted me with his information, maybe I can trust him with mine now.

"I don't remember anything. I woke up in a house, but I don't know if it was mine or not. I was on the floor and didn't remember anything. I didn't even know if that was my house, so I left in case it was actually the house of some serial killer or something."

Al nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"I don't even think Kira is my name, but it's simpler to just say, 'My name's Kira!' than, 'I don't remember my name!'"

"So I'm assuming that you want to get back your memories?"

I nodded and he said, "I can relate to that." Before I could ask him to elaborate he said, "Brother and I will help you. Assuming you want our help."

I nodded and thanked him.

Soon after that we decided it would be best to get back to the hotel room before Ed started worrying. According to Al, he couldn't be trusted alone for too long.


End file.
